Jesus Nets Endorsement Deal

John Porretto, of AP, tells the Chicago Sun-Times that Detroit religious groups have kicked off a "What Would Jesus Drive" campaign. Apparently the Big J prefers subcompact cars. Ed. had thought that this transportation choice question was answered some time back by St. Joan Osborne, who divined that Jesus, in fact, takes the bus.
Jesus was unavailable for comment, Thursday, but a spokesman told Ed. Note, "Jesus actually has a number of endorsement deals in development. Microsoft, Nike, and The Gap are among the front runners. One fast food megachain is pitching a 'Holy Meal.' " Ed. can hear the jingle now: "Two beef-flavored wafers, special sauce, lettuce. cheese, pickle, onion on a sesame seed bun!" (Wait a minute! Don't they already sell that?) A competing burger chain is hoping JC will buy into their new, "Have it Yahweh" campaign.
Meanwhile, a spokesman for Buddha confirmed that the B Man is developing a line of burlap clothing to be featured through a prime product placement deal in the next James Bond film, "Enough Is Enough."