A Sucker Bet

Just what kind of shell game is Chicago and Illinois running on its citizens now?

The Chicago Sun-Times, in a Thursday story, tells us that Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley is pushing for a casino in Chicago. As is Donald Trump, who owns a casino in nearby Gary, Ind. and is partners with the Sun-Times in development of a new Trump tower on the site of the newspaper's current headquarters.

Daley's hypocracy is apparent to anyone who has followed his position on legalized gambling in Chicago. Once a major opponent of the idea, Daley villified the industry, its patrons and the huge social cost attached to it. Now that the city is losing revenue hand over fist, laying off hundreds of workers and eviscerating many city services, Daley recently announced that he is game.

The newly-elected Democratic state legislature, which is facing a $2 billion budget shortfall, is rumored to be interested in Daley's proposal, as is Governor-elect Rod Blagojevich. Blagoevich's father is Chicago alderman Richard Mell.

The suburbs of Rosemont, Des Plaines, Summit, Waukegan and Calumet City also want a grab at the last state casino license.

A bill to open horse tracks to slots and boost the number of "gaming positions" at the nine casinos in Illinois is being pushed by the CEO of Balmoral and Maywood Park harness tracks, which this year donated $40,000 to Gov.-elect Rod Blagojevich and $20,000 to state Sen. Emil Jones (D-Chicago). Jones is in front of the queue to be the next state Senate president.

Also jumping aboard the Blagojevich pony was Arlington Park chairman Richard L. Duchossois and the track's parent company, Churchill Downs. Arlington interests gave $37,332 to Blagojevich this year--$25,000 of it coming from Churchill Downs.

Now, Ed. asks rhetorically, what is wrong with the picture of state services -- education, roads, medicare, etc. --- being paid from state's gambling take.

Well, Ed. remembers when the state lottery was proposed with the promise of funding education. By the time the measure was passed and signed, there was no specific set aside of proceeds for education. Lottery proceeds went into Illinois' general fund, to be spent on whatever.

Furthermore, Ed. has a problem with funding governmental operations with money often wrentched from the hands of people who largely cannot afford to lose it. If you don't believe him, go to a casino sometime and just watch the people around you. Go to the cage and to the ATM machine bank and observe the desperation of the people seeking MORE money and a chance to win back all they've already lost. It is a fool's pursuit. It is gambling ... and a bettor never wins.

Ed. is not against vice, per se. But should society fund its necessities with the wages of weakness? Should it profit from vice?

Ed. does not think Illinois or Chicago should. Not even if the state is going broke.

The losses, and perhaps suffering, of the few should not fund the needs of the many. Rather, the many should be paying their own way through higher state taxes.

Or else, they should resolve to get by with less and maintain tax funding of absolute necessities -- such as education and medicare.

Three Christmas Stories For The Price Of One

A Beautiful Christmas Story

Mike Jeffcoat, a Charlotte, N.C. businessman, decided to share his good fortune with others by taping 300 $1 bills to his office window Friday, AP tells us.

A note posted with the cash said, "Please take only what you need. Remember others."

Most people might expect that the cash was gone with the first person who saw it. Some would anticipate a story about how many people were injured in a riot that broke out as a greedy mob fought over the money.

The real story is that many in the crowd took nothing. Some took a few bucks for a cup of coffee.

It took more than a half an hour to deplete the storefront fund.

The moral of the story might be that: "The greatest generosity and compassion sometimes comes from those who have the least to give."

And that is something Ed. hopes everyone will think about this Christmas morn.

Chicago Sun-Times Bebunks Santa Myth

It had to happen.

According to the folklorists, Wiccans and other neo-pagans who've been talking to Cathleen Falsani, of the Chicago Sun-Times, Santa began as a woman -- Holda, the pagan Teutonic goddess of good fortune.

The "experts" told Fasani that Frau Holda has been sliding down chimneys, giving gifts to good children and traveling via an airborn cart since before the birth of Christ.

Ed. notes that this just goes to show you how reporters and their editors will print the "expert" opinions of anyone who can fit their tale into the seasonal story cycle, especially if it can be made to appeal to the demographic "target market" of the moment.

Coming up: Soothsayers convince Falsani that Torquemada actually invented Valentine's Day by his tradition of cutting out victims' hearts and sending them to friends every February.

Santa Stopped By U.S. Border Patrol

John Fulton, of Fort Erie, Ontario, dons a Santa suit every Christmas season to wind surf across the Niagara River. This year strong winds blew him into the U.S., according to an AP story.

Santa Fulton is lucky that all he got was arrested by the U.S. Border patrol, who merely sent him back to Canada.

In these Strangelovian times of Homeland Security, he could have gotten an anti-ballistic missle up his chimney. These are rough times for odd-looking bearded men attempting to drop into the United States from the skies.

Ed. wishes Santa the best of luck, and advises him to give NORAD a little more warning on his upcoming midnight run.

Oprah Is Safe!

As Oprah Winfrey participated in a South African charity event, high winds blew over a tent, injuring 10 people.

Winfrey escaped injury, according to the AP report. Ed. hears that the tent, an old dress that Winfrey once wore in her chubbier days, was actually being used to house the star's oversized ego.

A Word About Those Self-Help Books...

Jerome Schneider and his partner, LA attorney Eric Witmeyer, wrote a book entitled "Hiding Your Money" and hosted "wealth summits" to teach clients how to hide their assets in offshore banks. Schneider's lawyer, not Witmeyer, said his client told people the offshore banks that would be created to hide the wealth should not be used for tax evasion.

Alas, some of Schneider's clients allegedly cheated on their taxes. Now Schneider and Witmeyer are charged with conspiracy to defraud the IRS, wire fraud and mail fraud.

They are facing 115 years in prison, which may give them plenty of time to think about the sequel, "How to Hide Your Money And Not Get Caught."