Ed. Back From Hiatus! World Sighs Relief!

Ed., finally over his New Year's Eve hangover, returns to put fingers on keys to pound out even more news you can chew.

So let's settle in and take a read of what's been going on in the world for the past week.

Formula For Happiness Discovered! Brit Researchers Are ... Happy!

Happiness = P + 5E + 3H.

What, you didn't know that? Reuters did.

After interviewing 1000 people, the British researchers -- a psychologist and a self-styled "life coach" -- came up with the equasion in which: P stands for Personal Characteristics (outlook on life, adaptability and resilience); E for Existence (health, friendships and financial stability) and H represents Higher Order (self-esteem, expectations and ambitions).

The results of the pioneering work by psychologist Carol Rothwell and Pete Cohen showed that men and women found happiness in different ways.

Sunny weather, being with family and losing weight were more of an influence on women's happiness, while romance, sex, hobbies and victories by their favorite sports teams were more important to men.

"The findings show that certain events, such as job promotion, can impact positively on your overall happiness," Rothwell said.

Fancy that ... sex, sports and hobbies make men happy. Who'd a thunk it, Ed. wonders.

Ed. does know what makes junk scientists happy -- that people and companies and governments actually fund these kinds of research projects.

Internet Almost Old Enough to Drink Booze

... Happy Birthday, Dear In-ter-net! Happy 20th Birthday, to youuuuuuu!

Albeit, a little belated.

Why just the other day, AP was reminding Ed. that the Internet was born on January 1, 1983, when about 400 computers linked to ARPANET switched to the TCP/IP communications protocol. That allowed multiple networks to coexist. Applications like the World Wide Web were developed and took root.

And SPAM would soon be known as more than just a bad choice of sandwich meat.

Just Whose DNA Is It, Anyway?

Police have taken warrantless searches to their most invasive extreme with a new technique called the DNA Dragnet, according to the New York Times.

Louisiana police collected DNA mouth swabs from 800 men in their search for the serial killer of four young women. Swabees were told they didn't have to provide the sample, but if they didn't, police would leak their names to the press as "non-cooperative" in the investigation.

The idea actually began in Britain in 1987, when police hunting a rapist tested 4,000 men in Leicestershire. A decade later, and DNA dragnets became all the rage in northern Germany, where more than 16,000 men were tested. In the mid-90s, police in the Miami suburbs netted 2,000 DNA samples in a case. Five years ago, law enforcement authorities in Maryland swabbed 400 makes hospital workers looking for a rapist-killer.

Cops collecting and screening large samples of DNA to catch felons? So what could be wrong with that?

The first thought that comes to Ed.'s mind is: Are the DNA samples and genetic information of innocent men and women removed from these databases once the guilty party has been arrested and convicted?

Answer: No.

Ok. Then Ed. ponders the formation of a National DNA Database, with DNA taken from every American at birth and used solely to aid in identifying criminals? Sound like a good idea?

If you like the notion, YOU can be among the first to submit YOUR children to this DNA Dragnet.